tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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