i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
