Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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