he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
