And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
