apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
