You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize