I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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