So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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