I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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