Sober January is a disaster.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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