I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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