none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
