So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
