Dual....:-)
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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