I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize