fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize