She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
