chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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