Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize