Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
