Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
BRING THE BAGELS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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