Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
