my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
