And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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