My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
