I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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