Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
