so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
