found the other keg... it's in the tree
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
