Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
