please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
