I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
