So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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