I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
he fucked my hip out of place.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize