You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
