haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
