Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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