My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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