problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
