We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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