He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
