He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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