She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
