I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize