we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
