You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
