Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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