Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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