Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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