his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
My ass is underappreciated
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
