i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize