I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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