chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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