You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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