I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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