he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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