Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
