i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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