Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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