Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
