I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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