Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Alive.
So much puke
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize