you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
