How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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