we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
