I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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