hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
