he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
