You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
