Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
